People should
stop living in a world full of illusions and constant guessing. I will ask you
a few questions and I want you to answer honestly.
1. Who
do you think has your best interest - you or someone else?
2. Who
knows better than you what makes you happy and satisfied - you or somebody
else?
3. Whose
opinion of you is more important to you - your own opinion or someone else’s?
4. Have
you ever dreamed of being able to think for yourself and take your own
independent decisions? Or do you prefer to let someone else boss you around and
take care of you because you are not able to make the right decisions?
How come you
believe that someone else is always right and you are always wrong?! This is
absurd. We all make mistakes and the more mistakes we make, the more we learn
and grow. So don’t wait around for someone else to come and tell you what to
do. Look at your life and decide what makes you happy. Find your hobby and
spend your life doing what you like to do. The more time you put into your
hobby, the better you will become. Always look at what you do from a different
angle and try to think of something you can do which will make your
experience/product/service unique, helpful, interesting. This is your life and
you are not here to be liked by this person or that person. When you get old
you should be able to turn around and say: “I did something with my life
because I was self-dependent; I listened to my own feelings; I had my own
desires and dreams; I have had a great life because I didn’t make the mistake
which 90 % of the population does – to always take into account other people’s
opinion and be a slave to institutional prejudices. It’s more important for me
to like myself than to be a person who is likable for others. In fact nobody is
perfect, so no matter what I do, there will be always at least one person who
will not like me. I may be the nicest person on Earth and that may still not be
enough for another. The good thing is that I live with myself every day and not
with that other person who doesn’t like me. So the opinion that matters to me
is my own opinion. I do what I like to do and I become better at it every
minute. My self-confidence grows and that’s all that matters.” People are
attracted to those who enjoy what they do and like who they are. I am here to
love myself and if other people love me for who I am that’s great. The rest
doesn’t matter because I am not dependent on other people’s confirmations. I
like to depend on myself in any situation. I know what means happiness and
depression for me. I do anything that needs to be done so that I can bring
myself happiness. I run away from people, situations and activities that will
surely bring me depression and lack of harmony. There are times that I can’t
solve a problem but I still love myself and I stay happy, not downhearted. I
keep working towards eliminating the problems in my life step by step and
minute by minute. When I look back I am always delighted with the progress I
have made. My good feelings and the things I own are well-deserved. All people
are met with difficulties in their lives therefore I keep working on overcoming
the hurdles and I don’t become sluggish. The more I do, the stronger I become. For
me the most important thing is to keep moving. I don’t stop and wait for
someone to come and give me a few compliments so that I can feel good about
myself. No. That is my responsibility. I tell myself a few encouraging words
every day because I’ve accomplished something yesterday. I have kept walking.
Isn’t that enough to enjoy my own respect for myself?! I am not dependent on
anybody else, I am healthy and I don’t blame others for my accomplishments.
That is why I don’t stop and look for another’s approval, just my own. I take
life as it is. I don’t aspire to act as somebody else. I use my imagination and
satisfy my personal needs. Everybody has different needs so I concentrate on
what is good for me, not the person next to me. Also, depending on the time and
situation I have different needs so I don’t let social rules and prejudices
keep me from fulfilling my needs. It is all up to me. No other person or
business will look for my best interest. People are selfish and the strongest
survive. The rest perish. Some people spend their whole life searching for
friends and strangers who will please their egos and whisper groundless words
in their ears. Am I not capable of acknowledging the good things about myself
to myself?! It is so easy when you keep moving forward. And it is so hard when
you are stuck somewhere listless. God is within me and I am self-providing.
Those who are closest to me are happy around me because I am content and I
don’t complain or need anything from them. When they are around me they are
free to relax and be themselves. I constantly reassure them to keep exploring
this world and their own self. I never feel brokenhearted because somebody else
has done something. That is their business. They are free to do what they feel
like doing. I am responsible only for my own positive thoughts and therefore
joyful feelings. When I enter a room I can turn around the gloomy atmosphere
because I am strong and willing or I can just sit quietly and absorb the
lessons. Later I add to them my own signature. If a person doesn’t fulfill
his/her need by themselves, they will start searching for someone or something
that will fulfill the need or temporary make them forget about it, just like
the use of alcohol and cigarettes do. There are those people who always
interrupt you while talking and impose their views just because they feel
fearful and lack self-esteem. Can’t they just enjoy the conversation and calmly
let the other person finish their speech?! If you are able to control yourself
and you are busy doing your own thing, you will not force other people to act
as you please or raise your voice. Ever! What they do and think is their own
business. What I do and think is up to my personal experiences and needs. We
are all different. That is why we should let other people live their lives and
live up to their standards, abilities and interests. When someone shares
his/her opinion I simply listen and ask myself what I think on the matter
without imposing my own believes. I would like to control myself better not
control the actions and thoughts of another human being. I don’t need their
approval because they don’t know me better. I am the one responsible for my
experiences, advancement and issues. If I start focusing on people’s needs then
who will come to solve my problems?! I am the only person who acts in the best
interest of me. Everything I need, I can give to myself. Each action I take
tries to satisfy a need in me. When I look closely to my everyday actions I can
clearly realize what my needs are. Then I can learn new, more effective ways to
satisfy those few needs I have. The better I become the less approval from
others I need. Thus, my own needs become fewer and I am better able to satisfy
my needs. At the beginning it is hard but then it becomes easier for me. If I
want something, I work smart to get it. I know no one will ask me what I need
and then hand it to me just because I have two beautiful eyes. With every step
I take towards satisfying my need I enjoy the path and I find quite interesting
all those wild creatures I get to meet. I like to observe and interact with
them but I don’t need their approval of who I am. I deserve what I want. The
needs of other people are their own concern, not mine. Have you asked yourself
why some people are so tenacious?! It is because they always do something which
will satisfy their current or future need. They feel good about themselves
because they already know that they have what they need. Nobody else has it and
can give it to them. When I am done with a task I am in high spirits because I
have gathered strength, insight and love for my existence. At the end of my
life if I have fulfilled all my needs, everything that someone else has said
about me will not matter. People who are in search for other people’s opinion
engage in self-destructive behavior. They don’t love or have enough respect for
themselves. They are not able to change anything (their thoughts, feelings,
life experiences) in order to fulfill their needs. They will not take any
risks. They will stay fearful, hateful and passive. Strong, active people don’t
know the feeling of self-pity, insult and being dependent on others. Every time
you meet someone who blames another, you know he is creating a victim of
himself and he is estranging from the free man he has the strength to be. Your
thoughts will make you a slave or a master. In other words narcissism will
provide you with your will for power. If you sense lack in your life you will
constantly look for something and you will find an addiction and you will
settle for it. If you don’t sense lacking anything, you will fulfill any need
with ease and you will live cheerfully without fear and anxiety, begging for
approval. If you hear a woman who is constantly criticizing herself, you know
that she needs the approval of other people. She has not become completely
self-reliable.
When you are
in good terms with yourself, you go quietly with your daily business. Why would
you need another person to boost your confidence? When I am being good to
myself, other people show more respect for me and vice versa. This is just a
universal rule. When I am genuinely warm and I am carying for myself, I don’t
need other people’s confirmations. Nobody likes to be somebody else’s prisoner
and at the same time everybody is looking for approval from others. Don’t you
think that this is quite strange?! Every other song you hear is about two
people and one of them is always begging the other: “Please, love me.” Is this
coincidental? As you can see culture can be very harmful for human development.
It can set a stereotype which people blindly follow and at the end they ask
themselves who ruined their own lives and how come they are always
dissatisfied. People don’t have control over external factors that is why they
are usually emotionally unstable, frightened and inactive. Once you have
started intentional positive self-talk followed by an appropriate action, the
feelings of security and pride follow. Value yourself, don’t neglect yourself.
In every situation put yourself first. Every single act should be undertaken
because you enjoy doing it and it brings you well-being.
I have a long
list of the things I have done; things which make me content. I constantly
review my achievements and think of the next thing that I am going to
accomplish. Every hurdle I overcome makes me feel good about who I am and what
I can do. Thus, I create my positive emotions when I take a task and finish it.
I no longer need somebody else’s assessments on how I am doing. I have a road
ahead of me and I keep myself busy walking it. People who make too much noise
and often create a theater play are attention seekers who are not able to see
their path and walk it. They constantly feel lonely, bored and need someone
else or something to entertain them so their needs are finally fulfilled. If
you don’t set tasks that you need to accomplish each day in order to fulfill
some of your needs, you will not be able to judge your own worth and you will
feel empty. Hiding your weaknesses is
not the way to go. Walk your path so that you can realize those weaknesses and
turn them into your strong points. It is fun to watch how many things you have
achieved with the skills you have developed. It is fun to watch the new places
you have visited and the ones that you are about to conquer. You will feel
excited about your new accomplishments and the progress you have made. Your
goal is not to become the best but to become better in what you were doing
yesterday. Pride and joy follow your every successful result brought about by smart work
and constant improvement.
Don’t talk about yourself, let your actions draw a beautiful picture. A man in
harmony is the one who is able to keep the balance between the outcome of a
task and his participation in the process. Work on developing modesty and
humility. Make sure you are providing plenty of
positive encouragement for future desired actions and behaviors and you will
build your self-esteem which also will eliminate any offending and
disrespectful behaviors.
